The Bug Off; where the Bug Off actually means Bug 'Off'

Hey, pro tip: If you ever want to take part in a Bug Off make sure you do so in the morning. Personally, I forgot all about it; even when I went into my file to see the "Hey, everybody, The Bug Off is starting!" Why didn't I bother? I was only there to take care of the everyday touch-ups. Water my flowers, check town for a new Jacob's Ladder or other hybrids, check Tom Nook's shop, check Able's, talk to a few neighbors, mail a few letters; you know, the usual.

So what did I do? I waited until 5:30 PM to look for bugs. That was 30 minutes before it ended. Let's just say I had, like, no time whatsoever with the whole thing. Apparently Rodeo was in the lead with some mantis at 54 points. I went to a friend's town who was earlier in the day and you know who was winning? Winnie with a mantis; 60 points worth. What's worse? I could only see grasshoppers and bell crickets. That certainly doesn't help me!

In the fields? Where are these fields? Oh! You mean the grass, right? I tried that already - no luck. Seriously. BELL CRICKETS ARE DEAD TO ME. Hills? What? He wants me to climb the ramps every couple of seconds? How does that help me hunt for bugs? Oh, wait! I get it now. He wants me to jump off cliffs with my net and umbrella hoping to float over a bug and get it good with my golden net. Did I ever mention how horrid I am when it comes to catching bugs? Makes me wonder how I ever got my golden net. So onto another story. When I was hunting for bugs in that last 30 minutes I found a bell cricket hopping around. It was in front of me; so I swung my net and missed. Twice. Worst part? It didn't even move.

Maybe I'm not even built for The Bug Off. I mean, have you seen my arms? They're noodles with rocks attacked to the end of them. Small rocks... More like pebbles. They're bigger than my feet, though. Maybe that's what I have to start doing? Use something smaller. That's a sight; gripping my net with my feet running around on my hands. This, my friends, is advanced technology at work.

Anyway, after seeing only five bell crickets, two grasshoppers, and one red dragonfly; I decided to give up. The bugs certainly weren't flying today. Or crawling... Hopping... Standing still - whatever bugs do.

How can this... Animal... Be better at catching bugs than me? :( I'm prettier, I have a golden net, and my shoes... They're so much better! ... But that's because he doesn't wear shoes. Unless he just has flesh for feet and those shoes were bought. Eww! Is that what Gracie sells now? Animal feet?

No wonder there aren't any bugs... Someone else is stealing them. Gracie is going to use them for her new line to follow up her animal feet - bug toes! So anyway... I didn't win The Bug Off. :( I think I got 30 points for one bug, though. That's a start! Especially when all the bugs in my town are being used for all these hip trends. That's just groovy, man.